But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
