He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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