That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
