That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
