yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
