i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Randomize
