So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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