The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
