If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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