I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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