why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
