after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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