Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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