I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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