Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I want a musical about memes.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
