I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
