u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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