Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
