we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
