Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
