And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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