ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
