get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
