he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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