Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
