you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
