I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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