More tranny stories later!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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