Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Swine flu is the new snow day.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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