Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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