I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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