I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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