I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
