And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
