He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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