There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
