he shaved USA in his pubs
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
