hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i came on her dog
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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