no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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