dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
