I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
