Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
