Cold hands, warm shart.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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