pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
why is half of my head shaved?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
