Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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