If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
