Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I think your dad took our porno
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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