Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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