Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
