the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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